When stuck in place, you continued to recite that mantra.
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, and if I
die, before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.""
Foolish to continue to recite this. When was the last time you believed those words, hoped that the ending would come true? When was the last time you were actually listened to. Let alone, when was the last time those prayers became true? You still lost them.
You feel silly for the identity you constructed. Too personal to share but you feel nothing without it. It consumes you whole like a moth to a flame. Burrowed in the cave you constructed as not an ounce of light seeps in. You are completely and utterly alone. But this is what you wanted, isn't it? To feel that separation, and to find yourself within it.
But is it possible to find yourself without a little help?